Week one

So before I get into the first week of the school I would just like to say, yes I am writing this post 3 weeks later than it should've been posted...  life is getting absolutely crazy here and there is some major heart surgery going down here.  So I apologize for falling behind on posting.  Already.  But anyways :)

Here we go, week one!

The first week of school went really really well. Tuesday September 3rd was registration day, so I moved in and got all settled.  That night we had our first worship session of the semester.  Wow. In that moment I began to realize how transforming the next few months are going to be.  The next day began our weeks worth of teaching and worship sessions.  The topic of the first week was Hearing Gods Voice.  Our speaker was Mark Virkler which I just would like to say, wow.  He is absolutely incredible!

(I apologize, you might notice that I am saying wow a lot... it describes my life right now.)

Something I have always been frustrated about in my relationship with the Father is hearing His voice.  From what I can remember no one ever really explained to me how to hear Gods voice.  Don't you think in a relationship, communication is key?  And not just one way communication like me pouring all my life problems to God and then just leaving it.  No, Holy Spirit wants to connect with us on a personal level and wants to speak to us right here and now.  This is how relationship works.  So as you could imagine I was quite excited to hear what Mark Virkler had to say. 

Now God doesn't just speak in one way, but Mark explained one of the main ways to hear Gods voice.  2 way journaling, using the 4 keys Mark taught us. (I wrote out the 4 keys a little later)  Its amazing how God has spoken to me through this.

(Here is the link to Marks blogs if you are interested in learning more about that.  Which I highly encourage you to check it out.  It has radically transformed my journey with the Father.)

https://www.cwgministries.org/

Since the day we were taught the 4 keys and journaling, I've started to journal every morning.  It has changed my perspective and attitude as I start my day.  I mean how could starting your morning by talking to the Heavenly Father go wrong?

One thing Gods been speaking to me about has been trust and allowing myself to completely surrender EVERYTHING .  I found this interesting because in my mind, trust is not something I struggle with.  However God has been showing me some areas of my life, where I have not trusted. Or I've kinda trusted, but not completely.  So this is something God is working on in me.

Okay time to be vulnerable and share some of my personal struggle when it comes to hearing Gods voice and trust.

So in 2 way journaling, you use the 4 keys which are...

1) Quiet yourself in the Lords presence and tune in to flow (flow = Holy Spirit)

2) Look for vision as you pray/fix your eyes on Jesus

3) Gods voice often comes as spontaneous thoughts

4) Write out/record the flow of thoughts and visions.

One of the things I struggled with (and still do) with 2 way journaling is when I tune into flow, I always question whether it really is from Holly Spirit or if it is just my own thought process.

Now when you journal and its concerning a bigger situation (like a life changing decision or something... you catch my drift;) you bring your journaling to 2 or 3 people you trust whom you look up to in the Lord and get them to confirm it is from Holy Spirit.  However even with the small broad questions I ask Holy Spirit, I find myself doubting.  Like "oh this is popping up in my head only because that's what I want to hear" or "this sounds exactly like my own thought process".

Again Holy Spirit is like yo Shayla let's address this.   I've begun to realize that God has actually been speaking to me my whole life and I just didn't know it was Holy Spirit.  And because I didn't know it was Holy Spirit I just gave the credit to myself and my own thought process.  So, because I have been giving all the credit to my own thought process, I haven't allowed Holy spirit to work in me, and I have blocked myself from intimate relationship with the Father.

Since I received this revelation it's like a retraining reprogramming process for my head space.  And this is one of the areas of trust I believe I need to work on, with the help of Holy Spirit. 

God has encountered me in such an amazing way this week, and this was only week one.  So flippin excited for what Gods got planned next :)

I hope this somewhat made sense.  There is so much processing going on sometimes I find it difficult to type it all out in a way that's understandable to people other than myself. :) 

Second weeks blog post is on the way fam so stay tuned!

New Beginnings

How fast life changes, wow. 

So I'm an adult now... aaaaand living in Toronto for the next 5 months...  Maayyybe I should explain the last few months to give some context.  (re-reading this i'm like what the heck Shayla nobody is going to know what you're talking about from that first sentence.)

The past 4 months... so I graduated high school this past June at Northlands Parkway Collegiate.  My grade 12 year was the best year yet and I made so many wonderful memories and friends.  However  probably the biggest question of the year was "so. what are you doing after high school?"  Let me first just say, this question does have a positive side to it and some people love this question, but in my case I felt it was a really depressing question.  I was that girl who had absolutely NO idea what to do after grad.  I had already made plans to volunteer to work as a cabin counselor at Pembina Valley Bible Camp for the summer. Which gave me a little more time to figure out what I wanted to do with my life when September came.  It also helped me become more secure in who I am as an individual as well as grow and deepen my relationship with the Father.   But still whenever anyone asked me that question I would start to feel really overwhelmed and anxious... because I didn't have anything that I just REALLY wanted to do or wanted to pursue.   

So during the summer God was telling me, "Shayla you need to get out of Manitoba".  I was like "uhhhh I don't know about that Lord, that is really risky!  It would be so much safer to just get a full time job and make some money".  But he got me to the place where I was somewhat open to options, so my parents and I started to look at some bible schools outside of the province.  Catch the Fire School of Ministry in Toronto Ontario was one of them.  However I was still really skeptical just because I've never been away from home for longer than 2 weeks at a time, and being in a completely different province where I didn't know anyone was a bit of a scary thought... and living in a big city??  Not sure this country girl could adjust to that...  

God knew my fears and knew I needed some convincing.  So needless to say God put some people in my path who convinced me to attend the School of Ministry this Fall.  I have a friend whom attended the SOM previously.  He shared his experience with me which gave me a little more curiosity about the school.  I have another friend who I had worked with at camp all summer who was also going to the SOM this fall.  This gave me the final push I needed to say yes and submit my application.  

A little while later I was working at filling out the intense application required to be accepted into the school, and the devil just started to whisper little lies into my ears which made me really overwhelmed.  Things like, "you don't have a good enough relationship with Jesus to attend a ministry school", and "you won't be able to handle being away from everything you know for that long".  I began thinking it was way too quick of a decision to decide to move out of the province for 5 months. And maybe I needed to get my act together before attending. (I had applied 3 weeks before the school started)  Plus it was right after coming from working at camp all summer, I don't know maybe it was too rushed.  After talking to my parents and a few people I look up to, they re-convinced me to go through with starting school in Toronto in September even though it seemed like it was a really rushed decision after being at camp all summer.

And now I am here!   I can honestly say its been one of the best decisions I've ever made to attend the SOM this Fall.  It's been two weeks and I have already learnt and grown SO much.  

So yes.  This is my life now for the next little while, and I am excited to share what God is doing here in Toronto, as well as what He is doing and going to do in my heart.  So stay tuned for more updates:)